Starting preschool is a significant change for the whole family. For some children, it means returning to a familiar environment after the holidays. For others, it will be the first time they've been separated from mom, dad, or their primary caregivers for a few hours. It's normal for these first few days to be filled with excitement, doubts, nerves, and even some uncertainty. This is true for adults too.
At Happy Way, we like to emphasize something important: the adjustment period doesn't begin on the first day of school . It starts earlier, at home, in how we talk about that moment, how we anticipate what will happen, and the sense of security we convey when we do so. And it's not simply about getting a child to stop crying when they walk in. Adjusting means discovering, little by little, that there's a new place where they can feel safe, build relationships with new people, and understand something fundamental: Mom or Dad may leave, but they always come back.
During the first few weeks of preschool, children need to become familiar with many new things at once: a different environment, new routines, other children, and adults who will gradually become important figures in their lives. All of this takes time. Therefore, no two adjustment periods are the same. Some children settle in calmly from the first day, while others need days or weeks to feel secure. Some begin exploring right away; others prefer to observe before participating.
This doesn't mean some are adapting better than others. Each child arrives with their own temperament, experiences, and way of coping with change. Therefore, the goal shouldn't be to achieve a rapid adaptation, but rather to support a respectful one.
There's no need to wait until the day before to prepare for the start of school. A few weeks beforehand, we can introduce small steps to make the transition more predictable:
It's not about constantly talking about school, but about gradually making something unfamiliar feel familiar . We can also explain simply what will happen: “You're going to school. There you can play, and there will be people to look after you. Then we'll come back for you.” We don't need to promise that they won't cry or assure them that everything will be wonderful. We need to offer simple information and, above all, convey a sense of security.
Children perceive much more than our words. They observe our tone of voice, our expression, and how we react to what is about to happen. That's why it's important to talk about school in a positive, but also natural and realistic way.
If adults experience the separation with great anxiety, the child may sense that insecurity. This doesn't mean families should hide their feelings—it's a significant change for adults too—but rather try to ensure the message they receive from the child is clear: "I trust this place and the people who will take care of you." That trust is one of the best sources of support we can offer.
And then comes one of the moments that worries many families the most: saying goodbye. If tears appear, we must remember that it's a normal reaction to separation. Crying doesn't mean the child doesn't like school or that the adjustment is going badly. At that moment, long explanations usually don't help much. What can we do?
We can use a simple phrase like, “I’m leaving now. You stay with your teacher, and I’ll come back for you later.” As the days go by, the child will discover that after every goodbye comes a reunion.
"Is it normal for him to cry every morning?"
Yes. Some children cry when separated from their caregivers during the first few days or weeks. Rather than simply observing how they say goodbye, it's important to assess how they develop throughout the day: whether they find moments of calm, begin to show interest in their surroundings, and establish a bond of trust with their teachers. Adjustment is a process, not a snapshot taken at the school gate.
“Since school started, he’s been more irritable at home.”
This can also happen. Starting school involves processing many new experiences: people, sounds, spaces, routines, and emotions. When they get home, some children may be more tired, demanding, or irritable. During these first few weeks, it can help to slow down a bit outside of school and make time for quiet family moments.
“He still doesn’t talk much. Will that be a problem?”
Verbal language is just one of the ways a young child communicates. Gestures, glances, sounds, movements, and expressions also tell us a great deal. Educators are accustomed to observing these signs and gradually becoming familiar with each child's unique way of communicating. If any specific difficulties arise, the family and school can share their observations and work together to support the child's progress.
"He still uses a pacifier or diaper. Should we take it away before we start?"
It's not necessary to make all the changes happen at once. Starting school is already a significant transition. Taking away the pacifier, diapers, or other routines all at the same time can add more changes than necessary. Every process has its own timing, and that timing doesn't have to be September.
"What if he doesn't want to interact with other children?"
At first, feeling safe is paramount. Some children need to observe for a while before participating or approaching others. And observing is also a way for them to learn and process what's happening. As the environment becomes more familiar, a greater curiosity to explore and interact usually emerges naturally.
Although each child experiences this process differently, there are some ideas worth keeping in mind:
When families and schools maintain open communication, we can better understand each child's needs and provide consistent support. At Happy Way, we understand early childhood education through this collaborative approach. Families and schools share the same goal: to offer each child a safe environment where they can explore, play, learn, and grow at their own pace.
Perhaps this is the most important takeaway from these first few weeks. The adjustment period isn't about learning to separate. It's about discovering that we can be apart for a few hours and that our bond remains. That Mom or Dad can leave and come back. That there are other people at school who can care for and support us. And that this place, which at first was completely unfamiliar, can gradually become a familiar and safe space. We don't need a perfect adjustment. Nor do we need it to be particularly quick.
We need time, trust, and support. Because every child will find their own way. And every little step counts.
